What Were You Going to Say?
by existential1rony
Summary: This takes place right after 7x11, shortly after Jay returns to desk duty after being shot. There's a lot of words left unspoken between Hailey and Jay since he left the hospital. Maybe surprising news from Kim will spark a discussion of the past that marks a talk for their future. Upstead-based as usual.


**[Disclaimer: It pains me that I have to do this because I sadly still have hope in humanity and morals, but alas... It's been brought to my attention that some people have been stealing my stories. I ONLY post on FanFiction and ArchiveofourOwn... so if you come across anything of mine on Wattpad or any of the socials, please report it. Thank you! And to the offenders, be better people!] **

* * *

Another day, another dollar in Intelligence… the team had just wrapped another crazy case. This time a father and son duo from Canaryville robbing their own area to scare off "outsider" businesses. There was never a dull moment and they were excited to put an end to this one and get a rare early night off. Jay Halstead was finishing up submitting some paperwork to Sergeant Platt when Hailey Upton and Kim Burgess walked down the stairs to meet him. The three of them had plans to grab a quick bite at Molly's together. Kim had seemed off for the past few days and the two partners wanted to make sure she was alright.

Once Jay had handed over his papers to Platt and the three started walking away, he turned to prod his partner, secretly proud and equally sad he wasn't around to witness it in person thanks to his bullet wound not fully healed yet.

"I heard you made a nice disarm."

"Oh man," she smirks at him and teasingly cocks her brow, already knowing his answer. "You want details?"

"Yeah I'm losing my mind."

"After six days?" Kim chimes in following them.

"After six minutes!" he replies sardonically, earning another smirk from Hailey.

They're almost down the stairs when Platt calls out. "Hey Burgess, you got a sec?"

"What? Yeah. Uh, I'll meet up with you guys." Kim says and she turns to head back as Hailey and Jay continue outside.

They make their way over to Hailey's SUV and hop inside quickly as she cranks the heat. She turns to look at Jay to make sure he doesn't need help attaching his seat belt with his left arm still in the sling. It's become a habit for her the past couple weeks checking that he's alright with daily tasks, but gradually trying to cut the fuss back since Jay despises the extra attention. If he had to be honest, he did enjoy Hailey fussing over him though; of course he would deny it for as long as he could.

Once Hailey is satisfied that Jay looks situated she pulls out of the lot and starts the drive over to Molly's. On the way she fills him in on her takedown of Marty. He is impressed and gives her one of his famous grins he holds for her, causing her to blush, unable to stop it from arising. The remainder of the ride is relatively quiet, each now lost in their own thoughts.

When they arrive at Molly's they grab a table towards the back and wait for Kim to arrive. Stella comes over to take their drink orders and see how Jay's doing. He's ecstatic that he can have a beer again, the doctors cutting down his pain meds finally just a couple of days ago. They're almost finished with their first drinks by the time Kim finally arrives. It had been longer than they thought, and if it wasn't for the fact that they were starving they had enjoyed the alone time.

Kim comes barreling over with a nervous energy, but a big smile on her face as she takes a seat next to Hailey. The two partners glance at each other suspiciously.

"Everything alright?" Hailey asks while raising her brow.

"It is now." Kim replies still smiling.

"Care to enlighten us?" Jay responds, now equally as curious as Hailey.

Before Kim can respond, Stella comes back over to take their food orders and Kim's drink. "Can I just get a seltzer with lime please?" Kim answers as they all order their dinners.

Once Stella walks away, Kim dives right in, much like she had with Kevin the other day. "I'm pregnant." She says as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

Both Jay and Hailey's eyes go wide and before they can even respond to the first shocker, Kim comes out with another. "And Adam is the father."

After getting over the initial shock, Hailey chimes in and leans over to give her a hug. "Wow, congratulations Kim! I'm so happy for you guys!"

Jay shares the sentiments and then stares at Hailey through his peripheral to try to gage her reaction. She looks surprised, but seems generally happy for their coworkers, which is a huge sigh of relief to him. He's not sure he'd be able to handle her not being over Adam.

"So how did this happen?" Jay finally asks.

"Well Jay, when a boy and a girl like each other…" Hailey starts to tease, cracking both girls up and earning a classic look from Jay.

"Haha! No, seriously, what are you guys going to do?" he continues.

"I mean, we're not together, Adam and I, if that's what you're asking. I just don't think we're back in that place yet. We've actually been fighting over this a bit and I have to talk to him again soon now that I just spoke with Platt and Voight."

"What did Voight say? About the job and all?" Hailey asks.

"He was actually really happy! It was so sweet! He told me I will have to go on desk duty once I'm a little further along, but for now it's my choice on how soon I want to do it. And that there will always be a job waiting for me after the baby is born."

"Oh man, that's awesome! I'm so happy he took it so well, Kim." Hailey responds.

"Me too. I was really nervous about how this all would affect my career if I decided to keep it."

"Please, that old softie is probably so thrilled to have another kid in his life again. Voight will probably spoil them the most." Jay jokes and they all laugh knowing how caring their boss is deep down.

The three of them enjoy the rest of their dinners as they share laughs over what a crazy few months it's been. Kim is feeling better than she has in weeks with all the positive responses she's gotten from her boss and coworkers; and Hailey and Jay couldn't be happier that things are starting to return to normal again. Once the two not carrying a child finish up their second drinks, they decide to call it a night. Later in the week they plan to get the whole group out hopefully. They're all deserving of some much needed down time.

* * *

Back at Jay's apartment, Hailey decides to hang for a little while longer; neither ready to part ways with the other. Jay grabs them each a beer and puts them on the coffee table before going into the bathroom to swap out the protective gauze on his shoulder before bed and icing to alleviate some of the pain. To his surprise, Hailey follows him in.

"What?" she asks when she sees him studying her as he sits on the toilet cover. "I'm here, I might as well help. Besides, I became a pro at this your first week of recovery."

"Fair enough." He chuckles as they smile at each other over the memory.

Hailey helps him slowly out of the sling as he does his best to keep his arm elevated as she lifts his shirt off too. She slowly peels the tiny gauze he leaves on for work, a huge downgrade from the bulky bandage of a few weeks ago. As she grabs a washcloth to softly clean the area, Jay becomes aware of just how close they are together. His knee is slightly in between hers as she stands hovering over his chest, and he can feel her soft breath on his neck every time she leans in more. He was still in too much pain to notice all this when she helped him a couple weeks ago. He inhales deeply, trying to control his reaction to being this close to her.

She notices instantly and stares at his face, concerned. "Did I hurt you?"

"No…" he gravely manages to whisper out.

They stare at each other some more, as if pulled magnetically to the others eyes. Hailey finally realizing the predicament pulls back quickly.

"You need me to get your pajama shirt?" she asks while backing out of the bathroom like it's on fire.

"No, I think I got it from here, thanks."

He sighs deeply as Hailey exits completely and heads back to the living room. There's only so long they can maintain this façade of just friendship. He makes his way to his bedroom, sling in hand, to change his shirt. By the time he's adjusted the sling back on and grabs his ice pack from the freezer, Hailey's already on the couch sipping her beer and watching TV. He slowly sits down next to her and she turns to give him a small smile, nervously but naturally.

"Everything good?" she asks glancing at the ice pack, but they both know there's a double entendre there somewhere.

"Yup! Ice just helps before bed and relaxes after the day." He responds simply and she nods back. They quietly sip their beers for a bit, both wondering how to continue.

"Sooo… Adam and Kim, huh? Parents? That's pretty wild!" Jay finally speaks again.

"Yeah it's kind of crazy. A little weird to picture any of us as parents yet, although we are well into the age that people usually are." She responds.

"Yeah, I guess with this job we kind of take for granted average life stages."

"Yea." She agrees.

"So, are you okay with it? I mean, y'know, considering it's Adam and all?"

"What?" she looks at him as if in shock.

"I just mean, considering you two, y'know…"

She shifts on the couch to be able to look at him fully now. The new position making their knees inadvertently touch.

"Jay, c'mon, that's been over for almost a year now. And you know all it really was, was a fling. We've been over this, why are you bringing it back up?"

"I know. I just wanted to make sure you're ok."

"Is that all it is?" she asks him suspiciously.

"Of course. What else would it be?" he asks incredulously.

"I don't know, Jay. I just can't figure you out sometimes. It was like you were jealous, but you never spoke up."

"Me!? What about you?"

"What about me?" she responds questioningly.

"You're the one who wanted to tell me something in the hospital and then pulled away. You didn't even give me a chance to respond before you stormed off to get the car. Maybe you should say what you want to say."

"Really? You're going to give me a lecture about my feelings after what you put me through for weeks with the recklessness you seem to have with your own life? You want to save everyone, and yet you don't care to stop and think how one of us would feel if we couldn't save _you_? You didn't stop to think how **_I_** would feel if I lost you… And still, after all that, you almost picked up a phone call from what almost got you _killed_. How do you think that made me feel? I just got you back, and it's like you'd be willing to sacrifice your life over guilt all over again. I can't watch you do it again. _I won't_…" she says sadly, her lip starting to tremble and tears welling in her eyes as she starts making her way to his front door, grabbing her coat off the kitchen chair along the way.

"Hailey!" he quickly calls out, hoping to stop her.

When she doesn't respond and keeps walking, he hops up from the couch, his ice pack dropping to the floor, and runs up behind her. He rapidly and gently grabs her hand with his good one and makes her turn back towards him.

"_Hailey,please…"_ he tenderly pleads.

"Don't Jay, don't." she quietly responds as she cries softly.

He pulls her into a hug and she buries her head in his chest. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" he keeps repeating the words like a mantra, as he strokes her hair trying to get her to calm down.

They stand there for a few minutes, just holding each other, seeking the comfort that's been needed for weeks. Both of them having been too scared to admit it.

After a while Jay finally breaks the silence. "Hailey, I swear I don't mean to be reckless with my life. Not now anyway. There was a time, years ago, when I didn't give a damn what happened to me. But that was before I had something worth living for. _Before you_…" he whispers the last part as they stare at each other, letting the volume of the words hang.

"I know I don't always make the smartest decisions." He continues. "But I promise this was a wakeup call for me. I promise to let you keep me in check more than you already do. You were the only person on my mind as I drifted off in the hospital, and you were the first person I thought of when I woke from the surgery. I don't want to be without you."

"I can't lose you, Jay…" she whispers as she tucks her head back into his chest.

"Hailey, I love you. I'll do anything to always come back to you!"

He says it so simply. Like it's not the first time he's said those words to her. Like they don't hold all the magnitude of the world to change their relationship. Like they're the most natural words he's ever said.

She pops her head up in shock and stares up at him and he just smiles back.

"So, what were you going to say?" he smirks at her, repeating the same words he said to her at the hospital on that very important day that almost changed everything between them.

She grins as a wave of happy tears hit her, but manages to whisper, "I was going to say… I love you too, Jay!"

A wave of relief washes over him. He knew it in his heart to be true, but he was so happy to hear her finally say it. He leans down as she tilts her head up and kisses her softly. The kiss is brief, but filled with promise. He wraps his right arm around her shoulder and she wraps hers around his waist as they make their way back to the couch together. They have a long way to go still, a lot of trauma to get over, but they'll get there. And more importantly, they'll finally get there together…

* * *

_[A/N: Just another one shot because I feel like these two have a lot to talk about and I really think they should do it soon. Not only because we deserve it, but from a character standpoint there was so much left unsaid between them from Jay almost dying. So this was the little bit of closure I need. And hopefully romantic Upstead would soon follow ;) Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading this, and all of my others. I can't thank you all enough for the love. Hoping to get to some reader prompts soon, so if you have something, let me know!]_


End file.
